


Of Exams and Breakdowns

by StreetSoldierin



Series: Of This and That [3]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Freshman Terushima, Gen, It worked, Kuroo Tetsurou is a Good Friend, Kuroteru, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Oikawa makes an appearance in all of my stories, Panic Attacks, Rare Pairings, Self-Doubt, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Indulgent, Stress, Studying, bc he's the light of my life, but he's in good hands, can be read as platonic or slash, exam period, how not to handle panic attacks, i have my first exam tomorrow and i wrote this instead of studying, rated T because both of them have dirty mouths, to keep myself from having the kind of breakdown that yuuji has in this story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-10
Updated: 2020-02-10
Packaged: 2021-02-27 18:42:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22650454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StreetSoldierin/pseuds/StreetSoldierin
Summary: “These are everywhere, like seriously, they’re even in the kitchen drawers! How come we have tons of condoms but not even one package of aspirin, because as far as I know I get headaches all the time but neither of us are getting laid, so where is the fucking logic in that?”orKuroo and Terushima are college students at the same university, and Terushima has a mental breakdown before his first exams.
Relationships: Kuroo Tetsurou & Terushima Yuuji, Kuroo Tetsurou/Terushima Yuuji
Series: Of This and That [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1707133
Comments: 12
Kudos: 124





	Of Exams and Breakdowns

**Author's Note:**

> It's exam period and I consist of 99% stress these days so I wrote this one shot to cope. Sorry Yuuji.
> 
> Trigger Warnings for panic attacks/mental breakdowns. Also, don't use the way Kuroo handles this as an example, because it's not how you're supposed to deal with panicking people. Don't manhandle people who are having breakdowns please, this only works for these two fictional dorks.
> 
> Also, I'm in rare pair hell right now, and can you believe that this ship only has like 40 fics??? I mean??? Their dynamics are so amazing??? And I love them??
> 
> Anyways, have fun with these sweet bois.

Usually, the mornings were rather quiet these days. 

It was exam period at university, and if one wandered the halls in the late morning then he would find that most students were completely concerned with their own interests rather than paying much attention to their surroundings. People were walking down the halls with their nose in books, sitting in corners with huge stacks of notes in front of them or simply dragging themselves from class to class with their eyes only half-opened.   
As fun as semester starts and endings were, the beginning of the last third was always the hardest part, and though Kuroo was kind of optimistic regarding all his exams this time around, the stress was weighing down on him as well. 

He poured all his heart and soul into biochemical engineering, and to this day he had never regretted choosing it as his major, but it was indeed challenging and he had pulled more than one all-nighter with gallons of coffee accompanying him until he hadn’t been able to even tell anymore if his body was tired or wide awake – somehow it had felt like both at the same time. But it was okay, exams would be over soon and he knew that he had stuck to his study plan, every goal he had set was met by now and all he needed to do was keep revising until the actual exams in a few days. 

On this particular morning, Kuroo had allowed himself to sleep half an hour longer than usually, and that’s why he was in a fairly good mood when he left his first lecture of the day.   
Humming, he packed his things and headed down the hall, waving goodbye at some friends who only shared this lecture with him and would make their way to another now while he was heading towards the cafeteria. Yes, a coffee sounded like an excellent idea. 

Lost in thoughts about the things his professor had talked about earlier, he barely noticed the commotion at the end of the hall, at least not until he heard a very familiar voice yell, “Say that again, I dare you!” 

Surprised, Kuroo looked up from the notes he was still carrying in his hand and his eyes found the group of people that was causing this noise immediately, there were five of them, but two of them stood out as they were up in each other’s faces and looked about ready to throw some punches.

Kuroo groaned when he recognized one of them as none other than his roommate. So much for his peaceful morning. 

“Oi, Terushima,” he said loud enough for him to hear and stuffed his notes into his bag before jogging over. “Is there a problem here?” 

“Tell your friend he needs to cool down,” the guy in front of Terushima hissed as his gaze met Kuroo’s. “Exam period is stressful enough as it is without little freshmen running about in a frenzy.” 

“ _I’m_ the one who needs to calm down?” Terushima yelled. “You’re the one who completely overreacted.” 

“You were in my way, and I don’t have the patience for this.” 

“Well too bad, asshole, because I sure do!” 

“Guys,” Kuroo said calmly and put a hand on Terushima’s shoulder. The younger was basically fuming with anger, and though Kuroo was used to his moods by now, it still surprised him a bit to see him get so riled up over such a small thing. Sure, Terushima was loud, and bold, and yes, a drama queen, but he usually wasn’t quick to pick fights like this. “We’re all stressed, okay? Let’s leave it at that, there’s no need to cause a scene.” 

“Well, I wasn’t the one who-” 

“Teru,” Kuroo interrupted. “Let it go.” 

With a huff, Terushima shook off Kuroo’s hand and turned on his heel to stomp off. Kuroo watched him go with an exasperated sigh, but at least the ruckus was over and the other guys left as well, though grumbling under their breaths. Kuroo had half a mind to go after Terushima and ask what this had been all about, but he reminded himself that he needed to eat before his next three lectures which would be back to back, so it would have to wait. 

And so he went to the cafeteria and lost himself in chemical formulas for the next few hours. 

When he went back to his dorm room in the late afternoon, his good mood hadn’t exactly faded, but there was tiredness dragging on his limbs now and his bookbag weighed way too heavy on his shoulders. Leftover takeout for dinner should do, and if he managed to get his revisions done within two hours he might even get to bed at a decent time. 

He had all but forgotten about the incident with Terushima until he opened the door to their room and was faced with complete chaos. 

The cabinet doors were all wide open, clothes and various other things strewn across the floor, and while at least Kuroo’s bed had remained untouched, Terushima’s at the opposite wall was not even visible anymore due to the pile of things on top of it, consisting of laundry, boxes, books, and a gym bag.   
Terushima himself had disappeared halfway into the closet, throwing things out of it over his shoulder and Kuroo just stared at him in disbelief for a few seconds before regaining his composure. 

“Looking for Narnia?” 

Terushima pulled back and gave him a glare, and Kuroo was surprised to see that he was wearing his glasses, which almost never happened since, quote, “there is only room for one of us pulling off the hot nerd look”. Without a word he stomped over to his nightstand and pulled open the drawer with much more force than necessary, reaching inside and started throwing things out of there too. Kuroo couldn’t remember ever seeing Terushima so agitated, and they had been living together for half a year now. 

“Yo, I’m all for trashing places, but usually we do that at parties and not in our own dorm room.” 

Terushima replied by chucking a pack of condoms at his face. “These are everywhere, like seriously, they’re even in the kitchen drawers! How come we have tons of condoms but not even one package of aspirin, because as far as I know I get headaches all the time but neither of us are getting laid, so where is the fucking logic in that?” 

“Whoa there,” Kuroo said and dodged another condom pack aimed at his face, stepping closer. “Are you okay, Teru?” 

“Do I look okay?” the other growled back and slammed the drawer shut. “I should be studying right now, in fact, I should have been studying for the past hour, but instead I’m here dealing with this mess, like seriously, why don’t we have a fucking system for our stuff? Medicine should be in the goddamn bathroom cabinet, but guess where it fucking isn’t.” 

Kuroo took a moment to take in Terushima’s overall state. The other was wearing sweatpants and a tanktop that seemed to be a size too big judging by the way it revealed a little too much collarbone, and now that he thought about it Kuroo was pretty sure that that was his. Terushima’s blond hair was a mess, and the eyes behind his glasses were red-rimmed and underlined by dark shadows, brow pinched together in a frown as he yanked open the bottom drawer of the nightstand to rifle through it. To sum it up, he looked like a wreck. 

“Teru...” 

“Oh my god, Kuroo, I don’t have time for this, go bother someone else!” He pulled the whole drawer out and dumped its contents on the floor, obviously not satisfied by the results as he made a frustrated whine and threw the whole thing down. Something was definitely awry here. 

Kuroo stepped a little closer again. “I’ll run down to the pharmacy, if you haven’t found any painkillers yet I’m pretty sure there aren’t any left.” 

“They _have to be_ somewhere, I only bought some not too long ago!” 

“As you said, headaches are a common occurrence during exam period, so I have a pretty good idea of where they went.” 

Terushima shot him another dirty glare, and it felt strange to see the usually cheerful face so contorted with frustration. “I don’t need your smartass commentary!” 

“Hey, calm down.” 

“And stop telling me to calm down! Why are you up in my business all the time anyways? I didn’t need you to step in earlier, and I don’t need your condescending tone, I don’t fucking need you, period! I’m perfectly able to take care of myself!” 

“I never said-” 

“Just ‘cause you’re older doesn’t mean you get to fucking look down on me all the time!” He had gotten up now and was facing Kuroo with his hands balled into fists at his side, trembling with rage, and Kuroo was momentarily stunned by the outburst. 

“I don’t-” 

“What is it with people that they always think I can’t manage? I got into this university all by myself and I’m earning all my money all by myself, and I’m perfectly able of handling my life all by myself so stop treating me like a child! Just because you already passed the first semester doesn’t make you any fucking better than me!” 

Oh, he had a guess where this was coming from now. 

“Teru-” 

But the other still wouldn’t let him speak, and there were angry tears brimming his eyes now. “Just stop, stop looking at me like that, stop sticking your nose in my business, because I don’t-” 

But now it was Kuroo’s time to interrupt him. “Yuuji, for fuck’s sake!” 

He closed the distance between them and before Terushima had time to react he reached out and pulled the younger one into his arms. 

Terushima gave an indignant squawk and started struggling, pushing against Kuroo’s chest forcefully. “What the _fuck,_ let me go!” 

“Not a chance,” Kuroo replied calmly and just held on tight. Sure, Terushima was strong, but Kuroo was his match in all things muscle, plus he had a good ten centimeters advantage in height, so no matter how much Terushima cursed and struggled, he couldn’t break free. 

_“Let me go!”_

_“_ I don’t think so.” 

“I swear to the gods- just...” The pushes against Kuroo’s chest became more frantic, and he couldn’t see Terushima’s face, but the trembling of his body gave him a good idea of what was happening without having to see it. 

“I’m going to kill you, let me the fuck go!” The impact on his ribs forced the air out of Kuroo’s lungs momentarily, but he just tightened his hold on the struggling other without thinking about it twice. Terushima’s whole frame was shaking now as he was pushing and cursing and kicking, but this was not the shaking of rage anymore, and soon enough the first sob broke past his lips. 

“Let me go,” he demanded again, though his voice was cracking now, shoving at Kuroo’s shoulder forcefully and the other took a step back, navigating them towards his own bed since Terushima’s was still covered by the pile of chaos. “Kuroo, I swear-” 

“It’s okay,” Kuroo just replied soothingly.

It took a bit of wrestling to pull Terushima down with him, but he managed to get them into a sitting position, and though Terushima was still bristling and cursing, Kuroo could feel that his hands were clutching at the back of his shirt now, holding on tightly. He brought one hand up to run his fingers through Terushima’s hair, gently scratching the trimmed short part of his undercut, and another sob shook Terushima’s body.

“I hate you,” he choked out, but he wasn’t fighting back anymore, and Kuroo just hummed in response. 

“I know.” 

“I hate you so much.” 

“Mhm.” 

The trembling took up again, and then Terushima buried his face in Kuroo’s shoulder to muffle his sobs, all while Kuroo just sat there and gently stroked his hair. Terushima was a bit of a complicated person, but once one started paying attention, he was actually fairly easy to read, and that’s why Kuroo knew not to do anything but hold him and give him the opportunity to let it all out. If it had been anyone else, maybe he would have taken offense in all the words that had been spat at him, maybe he would have left when the first insult had fallen, but this was Terushima, and he couldn’t help but feel nothing but fondness for the crying boy in his arms. 

They just sat there and Kuroo waited patiently as Terushima sobbed and shook, until the trembling grew weaker and the grasp on Kuroo’s shirt loosened, and the latter sat perfectly still until he heard Terushima’s breathing even out and his frame stilling, slumping forward against him. Kuroo sighed and remained like this for a few more minutes, still carding his fingers through the blond hair gently.

“You’re such an idiot,” he whispered, barely audible because he didn’t want to wake him. 

When he was sure Terushima was soundly asleep, he carefully let him sink down on the bed and pulled the covers up, then reached out to gently pull the glasses of his face. There were tear streaks on Terushima’s cheeks and the dark circles under his eyes were even more prominent without the glasses, but as exhausted as he looked, he also seemed much more at peace the way he was snoring slightly now. 

Sighing, Kuroo turned around and mustered their dorm room that Terushima had wreaked havoc upon. This was not the first nervous breakdown he had witnessed, certainly not, he had seen it happen to others and had gone through it himself, but Terushima sure had a unique approach to this, as he did with everything, really. 

As quietly as possible, Kuroo started to bring back order to their room, starting with all the clothes by separating them into laundry and the fresh ones that Terushima had just flung out of the closet. The laundry ones he just dumped in their hamper, then he put the other back in their place and started to dig out Terushima’s bed. 

While he was halfway through that task, he stopped for a second and grabbed his phone to send out a text. 

Not even ten minutes later his phone buzzed again, and he looked at the screen briefly before striding over to the door and opening it, just to be faced with Oikawa who was smiling brightly and waving a little paper bag. “Rough night, Tetsu-chan?” 

“Not really, these aren’t for me,” Kuroo replied and took the bag from him. “Thank you.” 

“Oh ho?” Oikawa sing-sanged and sneaked a peek over Kuroo’s shoulder. “Ah, I see. Well I’m happy to have been of help, please do continue.” He winked. “Though if you’re playing nurse already, I think a costume might work on you. I’m sure Yuu-chan would appreciate it.” 

“Bye Oikawa,” he groaned and shut the door in the other’s face, rolling his eyes as the giggling grew more distant. 

As insufferable as Oikawa could be, he was also a good friend, and definitely the top contact when it came to medicine. Due to the aftermath of the knee surgery and every follow up complication in the book, Oikawa’s medicine cabinet was always fully stocked, as well as his wallet which held at least five different types of painkillers. 

He placed the paper bag on his nightstand and then continued with the clean-up. It didn’t take too long since their dorm room wasn’t huge, but it still surprised him how much Terushima had managed to mess the place up in spite of its size. Another unusual talent, it seemed. 

He glanced at the other boy’s sleeping form, and was glad to find that his expression had smoothened out by a lot – he didn’t look close to death anymore at least, so that was progress. It had been strange to see him so riled up, because even though both of them were quite similar when it came to their moods, Terushima was usually the one who kept his joking undertone even when he was majorly pissed.   
When Kuroo was angry, he mostly resorted to drawing back and being quiet, giving clipped answers only and refusing to look at anyone who came close to him. Terushima was more known for lashing out with his ruthless sarcasm. This actual breakdown today had been new, and Kuroo was still a little confused by it, though he suspected where all the pent-up anger stemmed from. 

After almost three hours Terushima woke up again. Kuroo had long since finished cleaning up the room and had resorted to looking through his own notes, though his thoughts kept wandering off to the blond on the bed beside him. 

When Terushima finally stirred awake and opened his eyes, he blinked for a few times as if to orient himself since he was not on his usual side of the room. Then his eyes fell on Kuroo, and he sat up in one swift movement, swinging his legs over the side of the bed and making to stand when the dizziness hit and he started to sway. 

“Whoa,” Kuroo said and jumped up from the desk and quickly caught the other around the shoulders, gently pushing him back down. “Take it easy.” 

“How long did I sleep?” Terushima slurred frantically and he planted his hands on the mattress to regain his balance. 

“About three hours.” 

Terushima almost choked. “Oh gods... I can’t... I have to...” 

“Calm down,” Kuroo said and kept his arms around the younger’s shoulders to steady him. “Take a deep breath, okay? I’m still not sure if you fell or sleep or just straight up passed out, so it seems you really, really needed the sleep.” 

“I don’t have time for that,” he protested, but apparently couldn’t will his body into functioning just yet so he slumped back against Kuroo, looking utterly defeated. “I need to study.” 

“Yuuji,” Kuroo said and tried to make his voice sound as gentle as possible. “You’ve been studying non-stop for the last few days, and by the looks of it you kind of forgot about everything else. It’s okay to take a breather in between, you know? Scratch that, it’s _important_ or else shit like this happens.” 

“Not everyone can afford that,” Terushima mumbled. 

“Is this what this is about? You’re scared of failing your exams?” 

That only earned him a glare, but Terushima also looked too exhausted to really mean it. “That might not be a problem for geniuses as yourself, but some of us do worry about that stuff.” 

Kuroo chuckled. “I’m flattered you think I’m that confident in myself, but it’s only natural, you know? We all get nervous before exams. It’s the same for everyone, really, that doesn’t mean you’re going to fail.” 

“Doesn’t mean I’ll pass, either.” 

“Oh come one. You’ve been studying your ass off, and you’re smart as shit.” 

“No, I’m not,” Terushima said and pushed back a bit, looking noticeably upset. “That’s just the thing. In high school I only ever got straight As because I worked for them, and everyone just assumed I was naturally talented because I don’t look the type to have cramming sessions until early in the morning, and I never bothered to correct them because what would have been the point? But this isn’t high school anymore, and I....” 

“You think you won’t live up to other people’s expectations,” Kuroo finished the sentence for him. He understood now where all of this was coming from, and though his heart ached for the younger one, he was determined to give him a little peace of mind. 

“Yeah,” Terushima mumbled, avoiding Kuroo’s gaze. “Everyone thinks I’m gonna push through these exams as if they were nothing, and I guess they think they’re helping by having so much faith in me, but... college is hard.” 

“They’re adding pressure without meaning to,” Kuroo hummed. “Hey, look at me.” 

Finally the younger looked up, and something in Kuroo’s chest caved at his exhausted gaze. He reached out again to squeeze Terushima’s shoulder. “Believe it or not, I know what that feels like. I mean look at me, I don’t exactly seem the type either, do I? I’m still trying not to be offended when I tell people I’m studying biochemical engineering and they go like-” He demonstrated by widening his eyes and dropping his mouth open, reenacting the expression people usually gave him when he told them what his major was. That got at least a few chuckles out of Terushima, and Kuroo smiled. 

“So that’s what the glasses are for?” Terushima asked, shoulders finally relaxing a bit. “And here I was thinking they were for picking up people, but you were just trying to look smarter all along.” 

“Well yeah, and being able to actually see things without them being blurry is just a nice side effect.” 

Terushima chuckled again. “Maybe I should have realized sooner I was half blind, if I had looked like a nerd earlier then people wouldn’t think I’m some kind of troublemaker with a super brain.” 

“I think your tongue piercing still might have had the same effect.” 

“Ah well, you got me there.” 

He looked more relaxed now by far, which made Kuroo dare to push a little further. “Listen, you’re gonna do just fine on your exams, but you have to stop overworking yourself. That’s not going to help anything.” 

Terushima sighed, and for the fraction of a second Kuroo thought he might disagree, but then he said, “I know. I just kind of panicked. Everything’s still so new, and there’s so many intelligent people here that sometimes I wonder how I’m supposed to compete with that.” 

“You’re not,” Kuroo replied softly. “This is not a competition. And I still think you’re selling yourself short. Being smart doesn’t mean you automatically know everything, it means you are able to understand stuff when you put your mind to it and make an effort, which you do. If you weren’t intelligent you wouldn’t even be here.” 

Terushima was quiet for some moments, and Kuroo already feared he had overstepped in some way – despite both of their brash natures, they always made a point of respecting the other’s personal boundaries, otherwise they wouldn’t have managed to live with each other for half a year. 

But then Terushima sighed and let his head fall against Kuroo’s shoulder again. “Thank you.” 

Kuroo smiled and drew him in closer. “I probably I sound like a condescending old man when I say this, but I know the first semester is scary, and you’re still gonna make it through just fine.” 

Terushima snorted. “Disgusting.” 

“You’re welcome,” he replied and ruffled the blond hair. “Now, as your responsible and concerned senior, I hereby prescribe you painkillers, takeout food, and an evening of doing nothing but watching crappy movies with me.” 

“But I need to...” 

“...relax, yes. You can go back to burying yourself in work tomorrow, but you literally _passed out_ earlier, so give yourself just this day off, okay?” 

Terushima sighed. “You probably wouldn’t stop annoying me if I tried to study, right?” 

“I advise you not to try it out.” 

“Alright.” He narrowed his eyes. “But we’re not watching Jurassic Park again.” 

“Though I do not support your terrible taste, it’s your pick today.” 

Terushima gave him the biggest grin he could muster. “Mean Girls it is.” 

Kuroo just laughed and tossed the paper bag with the painkillers into his lap. Mean Girls was their guilty pleasure, though only Terushima was willing to admit it, but today Kuroo wouldn’t try to put up a fight and so he just accepted it. “Alright, you dork. You set up the movie, I order the food.” 

“Order some dessert, too.” 

Chuckling, Kuroo got up from the bed to get his phone. “Someone is indulging.” 

“Well, _someone_ told me to treat myself today.” 

“Ah, truly a wise person. You should listen to him more often.” 

“I’m more inclined to chuck a lamp at his head right now.” 

Kuroo threw his head back and laughed. “Food and dessert, coming right up.” 

A few hours later, Terushima fell asleep on Kuroo’s bed again, head resting on the older one’s shoulder as the second Jurassic Park movie played in the background – it hadn’t taken much convincing to get Terushima to agree to watch it, _again._

Kuroo looked down at him with a soft smile on his lips and carefully turned down the volume of the TV, then reached over to pull the blanket up. Terushima didn’t even stir, his expression was relaxed and peaceful, and though Kuroo’s arm grew numb at some point, he didn’t move from their position and eventually he drifted off to sleep too. 

When they woke up the next morning, the first think Kuroo noticed was that Terushima’s smile finally reached his eyes again. He hadn’t realized how much he had missed to see that spark.

**Author's Note:**

> I am unable to write Haikyuu oneshots without at least mentioning Oikawa once. I am not sorry.
> 
> And yes, I made all of them wear glasses. Oikawa, Akaashi, Kuroo and Terushima are my headcanon pretty boy glasses squad. Fight me.
> 
> I'll love you forever if you leave kudos and/or comments, and also, feel free to head over to my insta @streetsoldierin if you want.  
> I have two major haikyuu projects in the works now, but real life got in the way for a bit, however I'm on semester break soon and then it's gonna be sweet, sweet Iwaoi time.


End file.
